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Jules and I took vacation time to have a mental-health day together. We went to the Edgar Allen Poe Museum and the Farmer's Market. We had breakfast in a favorite diner. We went to Elwood Thompson( a very-toney health food store and gourmet emporium) for the first time...I think I am in love!! The cheese counter and the butchery alone were delightful.
We also went shopping in Cary town. One of our stops, as always, being
"Ten Thousand Villages",a store that specialises in handmade goods from parts foreign and selling them in a "Fair-trade" manner. As we entered the store we noticed two "soccer-mom" types selecting items and heading for the counter. They began interrogating the clerk behind the counter...and the conversation went something like this:

soccer mom: Excuse me, Miss.
clerk: Yes ma'am?
soccer mom: I bought these exact same figurines ( of terra cotta cats)
in this store a month ago and I remember that the card
said they'd been made out of dung. Now this one says they
are made of terra cotta what's the deal?
clerk ( looking a tad suprised)" Ma'am . we don't sell any items
made of/from dung here. They're terra cotta.
soccer mom: I am TELLING you the card said they were made of dung
last time! Besides, Terra-cotta is RED! ( insert the implied
"So there, you fool!" for the right tone of voice)
At this point, attempting to save the clerk, I stood up on my hind legs and said "Actually, terra cotta is the color of whatever earth you started out with. It can be black, yellow, red, brown etc...due to the fact that mineral clay is different all over the world." (leaving out the implied "you stupid yuppie cow" but saying it with inflection)

AT that point I acknowledged the relieved look from the clerk and resumed browsing...but the conversation continued, as follows:

soccer mom to her friend/yes-woman : Didn't the card say they were
made of dung last time?? I bought them for (name of girl child)
because I thought they were cool (being made of dung??!! HELL-OOOO??).
Yes-woman: I remember you saying that, yes. Dung.
clerk ( now looking pretty disgusted) Ma'am , we don't sell any, ANY
items made of dung here.
Soccer mom: Well, I don't want them if they're not made from dung!
Here, put them back!

at this point , gentle- readers, I was quite beside my self...biting into my hand to avoid laughing out loud...and fortunately out of these ladies' line of sight. I kept mentally adding to the commentary, of course. Things like:
I only buy REAL dung ornaments for my kid!
And they'd better be authentic East Indian dung dammit! etc...etc...
It must be the finest "Virgin Dung" unsullied by commercial processing!
Dung never touched, by the "Man"

Minutes later, when these two sad, obviously demented yuppie bozos had left the shop, the clerk came and thanked me for trying to bail her out. I shared my humorous internal commentary with her and vouchsafed that if the soccer-mom had REALLY wanted an item sculpted from "Authentic dung" I would have been happy to oblige her. Assuming she was paying the price that the figurines went for. We discussed which part of the conversation seemed more outlandish...the thought of buying a child (presumably a relative) an item made of dung? Or being disappointed that the ornament wasn't really made of dung? All in all...we shared a laugh at the soccer mom's expense, And a very fine laugh it was. Julie bought a very nice market basket ( from Burkina Faso, and also notably Dung-free)...and we went our way still sniggering and chortling over the event. Somedays it's just good to be alive.

Date: 2017-04-13 04:08 am (UTC)
stitchwhich: (Default)
From: [personal profile] stitchwhich
It is now my life's dream to have a basket made with dung. No, wait - I take that back.

Walls, though. Walls would be okay so long as they were whitewashed.

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